Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are. – Unknown
In our everyday life, arguments seem to exist forever, it never ends, it’s a natural part of human interactions. Just like the equation of opposites – if there is bad, there must be good.
Although arguments cannot be entirely eliminated, they can be minimized.
Arguments never solve problems, only calm, sincere and smart approaches work.
How are arguments made anyway? As commonly believed, it’s when something goes out of a person’s expectations, and opposing forces are trying to make you believe they’re right and you’re wrong.
But the point is, the situation will get louder and louder, and eventually someone triggers the mental argument alarm. And the conflict begins… This is how arguments are created.
It’s either you trigger it first, or the other person.
But a trigger doesn’t just go off instantly unless there is some connection from the past, or else there must be a pre-argument vibe.
If the issue seems to be you’re often the alarm trigger, then the problem probably is within your personality and thoughts. Remember that:
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” – Luke 6:37
What if the problem resides in the other person being the alarm trigger?
Then it will require some conversational skills for you to smoothen the situation. Here are a few quick lines of advice:
Listen more, speak less. What’s the most primitive component of arguements? Speech itself! The less you speak, the less things the other person can fight back on.
Speak slow. Not only do you have to speak less, you also have to speak slower to calm the vibe. As the quicker you talk the more aggressive you appear to be, which will stir up the pot. Plus, speaking slowly gives you more time to make rational and logical decisions.
Equalize. If you’re one of those who prefer saving time rather than arguing to see who could get more benefits, instead slowly sum up the whole situation and equalize the outcome, so the final decision should be a fair 50-50 deal to the both of you.
Realize that arguments never ever, in any case, solve problems. It’s a disadvantage no matter what.
Remember that negotiation is key. The next time you can sense or feel that a conflict is about to spark up, calm it down, stop it outright at the start.
Judging defines who you are.