I went through a relationship once.
I learned lessons.
Today, I want to share with you experience I’ve learned while being in a relationship.
1. Burst emotions
Burst emotions? Jealousy, hatred, dislike-ness, anger…etc.
Burst emotions must be controlled and put to a bare minimum, because what comes out of your mouth (or your fists) after letting out the burst emotion is unpredictable. And dangerous.
You’ve got to control your anger.
2. What we say we want, sometimes isn’t really what we want
We have to understand that, no matter what comes out of our mouth it is always rational.
If there’s time to reflect, time should be spent on the realistic desire behind all your own statements. Not just yours. Your partner’s too.
Just remember, our words don’t always match our thoughts. I might say I hate you, but inside it’s the opposite.
3. Do what’s right in the long run not short run
Unless you are going for a one night’s stand I’m assuming you’re not.
Being in a relationship, everything that comes out of your mouth and every single action that you do must be deeply thought before proceeding. Why?
Because you’re not just doing something for yourself, you’re doing something for two of you.
You don’t do something you want at that very moment, you’ll have to think of the consequences behind every motive.
4. You are the Buddha
This is controversial but I insist on infinite forgiveness.
In a relationship, often times one is the dominant one and one is the one being controlled.
The dominant one can always impose on unreasonable things, that the one being controlled will have to listen because in reality, he loves her more. He doesn’t want to take any risk at all.
The point is, inside a relationship, there shouldn’t be limits of forgiveness. It should be infinite. But that depends on the level of how you feel for the other person.
Reality is unfair. The cliche is that a relationship is always a battle between the two. Agree?
5. Making changes
Being together means sharing everything together, means changing some of our differences into similarity.
We are always unique, but if two unique characteristics conflict on each other. Then you have to adjust. If one doesn’t adjust, the probable result is quite obvious. You guessed it right.
6. Go for it
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill
“Fortune is all in your hands.” – Chinese Proverb
There’s something you know you need to do. Do it.
You know it’s your last chance. Do it. You’re not sure about it? Do it.
You think she’ll get mad? Maybe? Do it.
Because if you didn’t do it, thinking ahead you’ll regret your past decision of not doing it. No matter what the consequences are, if you think it is right at that very moment. Just do it.
The Chinese call it: “There’s no medicine for regret.” It’s true. And it’s painful in the future, and it will be stuck with you for your whole life.
“It is better to regret things you’ve done in your life, than to regret things you didn’t do.” – Anonymous
There you go. Call me selfish but it’s true.
7. Action trumps everything
No matter how much you feel for someone, it doesn’t mean anything you’ve got to show it.
Action beats everything in the world.
8. Think in his/her point of view
You need to know the ability of perspective thinking.
Think of what he/she is going through, don’t always expect she is going through a perfect life.
9. Don’t over think
You’ve got to trust.
Trust is what bonds a relationship together.
No matter how damaged this trust is. If you’re serious about the relationship, you must repair it. It’s an endless job. And that’s why I insist on number 4 – you have to have infinite forgiveness (for as long as your love can hold).
10. 3 simple but meaningful words
You must have honesty.
You must have good timing.
You must have authenticity.
The Bottom Line
Relationships give you experience.
You just get better after every little mistake, you have to move on and forget and forgive.
Aren’t relationships life’s ultimate goal? Think about it.