Don’t Just Listen, Observe.

Life is about communication with one another.

Speaking and listening is one part of the conversation.

But as we grow up from childhood, we gradually build up the desire to cover up our surface, by telling lies.

The problem is… in almost every adult conversation, all individuals at some point avoid telling the truth because it could be embarrassing, humiliating or awkward. Although lying verbally can mostly cover up the truth, a person’s body language will betray the owner.

To become a successful social communicator…

… you’ve got to learn the ability to decode body language and understand how one person may speak something else the mind is thinking.

It’ll make you a lot more successful in life. Trust me.

The golden message? Don’t just listen, observe.

But because none of us are natural-born body language readers, here are some tips I’d like to share with you:

#1. Is what being said congruent with the facial expression?

For example, a man is talking to you about how great his day was, how nice his job is, how nice his boss is…etc, that means while he is saying this, he should show a face filled with joy and happiness, a small smile to the very minimum.

If not, he’s either too tired, or covering up something.

You could then dwell into the subject even more to find the truth.

#2. The body barrier/frustration sign

Often times we feel frustrated, confused, annoyed or even offended. But we try to cover it up because of personal reasons.

And by being aware of the people that you talk to who maybe positively expressing his feelings, but are oppositely showing negative emotions through his body language.

When a person feels attacked or harmed (regardless of which form, physical or mental), the person will automatically set up a body barrier to protect oneself. Examples:

  • Crossing the feet.
  • Crossing the arms.
  • Closing of the legs.
  • The hands touching the facial area.
  • Suddenly having the arms or hands in front of the body.

If you can spot a barrier like this, figure out what’s wrong.

#3. Change of mood, attitude, style of action, speech

This is a fairly obvious one.

If you are used to a particular friend or colleague speaking in a particular manner, you’ll recognize that manner as their typical day-to-day average personality. And if one day, that CHANGED.

You know something must have happened. The person could be:

  • Showing little to no facial emotions (the face does not move very much)
  • Speaking in a much smaller volume of speech
  • Expressing unusual feelings and showing weird behaviors
  • Always thinking about something, daydreaming, eyes fixed on random things
  • Breathing in an abnormal pattern, fiddling with his hands a lot more

#4. Expert eye movement direction decoding

For the more professional body language readers: eye movement indications.

Being able to understand is more than just listening…

If you are able to understand what a person is REALLY feeling, then you are ahead of everyone else in the game.

Life isn’t just about simple communications.

Life is about being able to observe beyond that level.

Don’t just listen, observe.

(Here’s a short insight on how to be a better communicator)