“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” – Dr. Seuss
Authenticity means being yourself.
This is stupid, right? Common sense, right? Not so common.
Today we live in a society of lies; the majority of us live to serve others, we act for the people we serve and lose our true personality.
Here’s what a North Korean said…
We know North Korea is a communist country and everything is equally shared between everyone. There was a defector who came to South Korea and it changed his life.
You might think “Oh great, he’s enjoying life out of that place now…” but that’s not what the man felt.
After living for more than a year in South Korea, the man was interviewed and when he was asked “would you go back to North Korea if you had the choice?”
He said: “I love everything in South Korea, it’s so advanced and developed. Everything is so cool and new. I have a job and I’m living life fine but… if I had the choice I would choose to go back to my home country.”
Okay, that sounds a little weird, sure. He was asked why.
“I learned something in this democratic country, everyone has to lie, I have a job and to keep it I have to lie to my boss, act nicely towards him, fake my emotions and hide my true feelings because of that. I can be two different person. In North Korea, everything is equal, no one lies like that, we all speak for ourselves. I only need one personality over there.”
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”- Dr. Seuss
The North Korean is talking authenticity. The man never went back because if he did, the country would punish him.
Outside North Korea…
Which is almost everyone of us, realizes this fact.
There’s nothing we can do about it, it’s human life. Those who work hard eventually get to the top. Then the next generation inherits the success that was not paid off for the same amount of hard work his/her parents had done.
Life is unfair. So what?
We are born with a single personality, but as we grow up we realize the way our society works, so we learn to have another side of ourselves. The fake side.
Those who don’t develop this ability, to simply say – will fail in life.
The two-sided question
Life is a balance between our two personalities – the first side and the fake side.
Sometimes, this balance isn’t equal, the more power we have the more “first side” we have. The poorer we are, the more “fake side” we are.
Here’s the problem.
If you work for everyone, if you use your fake side all the time, if you live the life of other people. Where’s your life?
Where’s your meaning of life?
Sure, use your fake side your life and you’ll get success. Material success. Money success. Happiness success?
Maybe. Only short-term. Never long-term.
Once you have put your fake side to maximum use, you’ll hit a stop one day and think to yourself, was it worth it? Was it worth going this far?
Then you’ll regret your past decisions for a lifetime.
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.”- Dr. Seuss
What you should do now
I want you to understand that life is about you. It’s okay to fake it for your short-term success. But, it’s never worth going too much and too far.
You’ll lose yourself.
You need to be authentic. That’s what we’re talking about today.
- Group discussion, thought of a great idea? But that other person will be offended or humiliated. Go for it? No I want to let him save face. Or should I? SAY IT.
- Deciding which movie to watch, don’t like your friend’s idea? SAY IT.
- Dislike your “friend”? Want to help him/her but it could get offensive. SAY IT.
- Making any decisions: you want yours to get chosen. SAY IT.
Now, I’m not telling you to do whatever you want, if everyone acted like that the world would end up in chaos.
There’s law and order.
There are boundaries you don’t cross and they are for you to decide. So what are the boundaries?
That’s what authenticity is about.
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”- Dr. Seuss
How much of a percentage do you want to be your first side and how much of a percentage do you want to be your fake side? That is the question, isn’t it?
Be yourself again and stand out from the crowd!